centuries ago when i was playing chess for st thomas aquinas, on one of those dark wet and wintery nights, we had an away fixture against king edwards. we were a new school and chess was taken very seriously, along with rugby, cricket, football, athletics and not forgetting cross country running. the science teacher, a mr smith viewed his transport of six fledglings, that particular evening, as a matter of great political importance. we were the new boys on the block and headed into the historical heart of an old established educational bastion. do your best boys and show the flag!

 

we arrived and got soaked just from walking down the drive. polite conversation and with one eye on the wind and rain the game started almost immediately..  my opponent was a little boy in short trousers. i could not believe it. i had been wearing long trousers for at least a year and was obviously a fully developed human being with an astounding chess repertoire. let the games begin.

 

i moved. he moved quicker. i speeded up. he went faster. i went into overdrive. he found the jet stream.

nobody on either team had sat down. everybody was watching. he absolutely stuffed me

 

the next hour seemed to be a blur. i had forgotten my satchel and found my self being driven back to st thomas aquinas. the caretaker had let me into the floodlit foyez and then locked me in. mr smith would go back to the chess match and collect me after it finished.

 

so. i am in the entrance of a huge school covered in flourescent light. the rest of the school is pitch black. looks like two hours of solitude will have to be endured. it is really quiet and i am beginning to feel a little bit uneasy. but i am wearing long trousers and i am in no mood to have my manhood questioned again. so what to do.

 

the kitchens! forward into the darkness. down a bit, left a bit and straight ahead. as dark as it was i was expertly guided by the chairs and tables. and found the main door open. here i have to pause a second to mention my horror at the state of the kitchen. not a bowl of fruit, not a buscuit, not a glass of lemonade. nothing. just clean surfaces..now what? back to the light and the main doors

 

still lots of time to waste. you might think it was the quiet that unnerved me, but it was'nt, the wind has a strange effect on large industrial type windows. they must have a built in flexability. this time i was off down the main corridor.

 

into the dark. howling winds. the unknown. down the corridor of death. open the first firedoor, then the second, third and fourth.this was when i noticed the little shining man in front of me. it was not so much a shock as a religious experience. by the way it is true the hair does stand to attention on the back of your neck. we stared at each other and neither moved an inch. i had a decision to make and made it straight away, because i wear long trousers, i took one step forward and the ugly brute did exactly the same, another step forward and the monster came one step closer. he copied my very movement. no one gave ground and time stood still

 

time was still standing when i realiased i had reached the end of the corridor and was staring through the open toilet door at one of the many mirrors with the only light directly behind me. i was the little man!

 

the lesson being. beware of playing chess too quickly and making snap decisions in life, for you never know, you could be playing tony miles on board one for king edwards or telling me about that horrible looking ghost.

 

 

here is an old game mcnab v miles

 

anybody seen my satchel?

 

(1) [A00]
[,martin]

1.b4 a5 2.b5 e5 3.Bb2 d6 4.d4 Nd7 [4...Ne7 5.e3 f5 6.Bd3 e4 7.Bc4] 5.e3 f5 6.Bd3 e4 7.Bc4 Nb6 8.Bxg8 Qg5 [8...Rxg8] 9.Bxh7 Qxg2 10.Qh5+ Kd8 11.Qg6 Qxh1 12.Qg5+ Be7 13.Qxg7 Rxh7 14.Qxh7 Qxg1+ 15.Ke2 Be6 16.Nd2 Qg4+ 17.Kf1 Nc4 18.Qh8+ Kd7 19.Qxa8 Nxd2+ 20.Ke1 Nf3+ 21.Kd1 Qg1+ 22.Ke2 Bc4# *